Telling Your Spouse

This will be one of the most difficult conversations of your life. Taking time to prepare helps ensure it goes as well as possible.

Make sure you're ready:

• You've done the reflection work and are confident in your decision
• You're not making this decision during a temporary crisis or fight
• You've consulted with an attorney to understand your rights
• You have a basic plan for what happens next (living arrangements, finances)
• You've secured copies of important financial documents

Consider your spouse's likely reaction:

• Shocked: They had no idea—expect denial and disbelief
• Not surprised: They've seen this coming—may be relieved or angry
• Volatile: History of explosive reactions—plan for safety
• Manipulative: May try to guilt, threaten, or bargain—stay firm

Knowing what to expect helps you stay calm and compassionate.