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Understanding Why Boundaries Matter
In high-conflict situations, boundaries aren't about controlling your ex—they're about protecting your own mental health and modeling healthy behavior for your children.
Good boundaries help you:
- Reduce emotional reactivity and stress
- Conserve energy for what truly matters
- Keep conflict from escalating
- Protect children from adult issues
- Maintain your mental health and sanity
- Stay focused on effective parenting
What boundaries are NOT:
- Punishment or retaliation against your ex
- Weapons to use in conflict
- Complete disconnection (you still need to co-parent)
- Rules you impose on your ex (you only control yourself)
You cannot control your ex's behavior—only how you respond to it. Boundaries are about your choices, not theirs.
Boundaries feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you're not used to setting them. Discomfort is normal—it doesn't mean you're doing something wrong.
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