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Understanding What Mediation Is
Mediation is a structured negotiation process where a neutral third party helps you and your spouse reach agreements. Understanding what mediation is—and isn't—helps you prepare effectively.
How mediation works:
- Neutral facilitator: The mediator doesn't take sides or make decisions—they guide the conversation
- Voluntary agreement: Nothing is final until both parties agree; you can't be forced to accept anything
- Confidentiality: What's said in mediation generally cannot be used in court if mediation fails
- Self-determination: You and your spouse make the decisions, not the mediator or a judge
- Flexible format: Sessions can be joint or separate (shuttle mediation); virtual or in-person
What mediation covers:
- Division of assets and debts
- Spousal support (alimony)
- Child custody and parenting schedules
- Child support
- Any other issues in your divorce
Benefits of mediation:
- Cost: Typically 40-60% less expensive than litigation
- Speed: Often completed in weeks rather than months or years
- Control: You decide outcomes rather than a judge
- Privacy: No public court records of your disputes
- Relationships: Less adversarial, which helps co-parenting
- Compliance: People are more likely to follow agreements they helped create
Mediation has a 70-80% success rate in divorce cases when both parties participate in good faith. Even partial agreements save significant time and money.
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