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What to Expect at Your First Session
Knowing what to expect helps you feel more comfortable and participate effectively from the start.
Typical first session agenda:
- Introductions: Mediator explains the process, ground rules, and their role
- Agreement to mediate: Both parties sign a document agreeing to participate in good faith and maintain confidentiality
- Opening statements: Each party has uninterrupted time to share their perspective and priorities
- Agenda setting: Identifying all issues to be resolved (custody, finances, property, etc.)
- Initial discussion: Beginning to explore one issue, often an easier one to build momentum
Mediation ground rules:
- One person speaks at a time
- No interrupting
- Speak respectfully—no name-calling or insults
- Focus on the present and future, not past grievances
- Everything said is confidential
- Either party can request a break at any time
Session logistics:
- Sessions typically last 2-4 hours
- Most divorces require 3-6 sessions
- Sessions may be scheduled weekly or every few weeks
- You may have "homework" between sessions (gathering information, considering options)
Arrive a few minutes early to collect yourself. Use the restroom, get water, and take a few deep breaths before going in.
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