What Is Parallel Parenting?
Parallel parenting is a structured approach to raising children after separation when traditional co-parenting isn't working. It minimizes contact between parents while maximizing each parent's involvement with the children.
Key characteristics:
- Minimal direct contact: Parents rarely communicate directly; when they must, it's brief and business-like
- Full parental involvement: Both parents remain actively involved in children's lives
- Autonomy during parenting time: Each parent makes day-to-day decisions independently
- Detailed written agreements: Rules, schedules, and procedures are spelled out to eliminate negotiation
- Neutral exchanges: Children transition between homes at school, daycare, or public places
Think of it this way:
Co-parenting is like working on a team—lots of communication, collaboration, and flexibility. Parallel parenting is like two separate shifts at the same job—you both do the work, but you minimize overlap and handoffs are structured and brief.
The goal: Protect children from parental conflict while preserving their relationship with both parents.
Parallel parenting isn't failure—it's choosing the approach that works for your situation. Many families thrive with parallel parenting for years.